Hello people, as of late I've been a but hectic, life has been throwing one problem after another at me and I'm sort of finally crawling out of the whole left from all these events.
I've, for a long time now wanted to create my design business which focused on graphic art and web design, after a a lot of testing and planning it has become apparent that web design is the main area all clients are interested in, this was originally great, but with my partner (and coder) having acquired a new job in Norwich I was reluctant to push web design as I cannot fully rely on that person any more, I'm grateful for all the help he had offered me during the setting up stages and initial Alpha clients.
I'm also happy that his life is starting to take more direction, I was at first distraught, I thought that after all this, what I had done was for nothing as without the web design I could never make much money, and that is what a business is, making money.
I thought about just being a sole graphic design company, and was implementing various ways that I could launch as successful as planned. But in this area the jobs would be too sparse to define the lifestyle I now wish to live.
I spent a great deal of time thinking, panicking; thinking what am I going to do now?
Also spent a lot of time playing video games and fitness just to try not think about the decisions and choices that I would have to make, and decide what life I was going to have.
I'd think back to all the people that still live in this town, that lost look they have when wandering the street and sitting on the quay wall looking upon the infinite horizon.
Maybe this town harbours more regrets than I initially thought, maybe this place was not the oasis I always thought it to be, but more like a pretty cage with a dark past.
There is a stark contrast held into one place here, you have the spring and summer, which is glorious and I can think of few places I'd rather be on a nice day than exploring the pine-woods and feeling that sea breeze stroking your face, or the warm sand seeping between your toes, life in the summer is slow and relaxing, but when autumn and winter comes it becomes different, the rains are long and relentless, the temperature always cold and the people always lifeless.
I'd watch the elderly pacing the street on a Thursday, filling out their routine of shopping and chatting with friends, but something looks wrong, there are few smiles, there is no atmosphere.
A few weeks back I sat on the edge of the quay and drank a bottle of wine in the howling wind and high tide, just thinking, and looking to the sea for answers, normally I get a message or a feeling that puts me back on track, but this time, the sea seemed empty, soulless, like the people that live here.
You have others of course, suffering the same fate, they walk to the pubs on a weekend, trying to replicate the feelings of summers fun and drinking the problems under the mat, each week complaining about the lack of anything happening, but still each week, like a ritual returning in hope for that one feeling, however they are misguided, this feeling they are chasing cannot be masked with alcohol, its a rouse for what is in fact a carefree lifestyle, the drink is only an inhibitor for their emotions forcing them to feel somewhat nostalgic and relate it to better times.
Truth is, all these people are unhappy and unfulfilled, the life they live, day in day out same thing, working hard for little money, living a life void of adventure or accomplishment, but rather more one of repetition and routine.
To sit and complain is the first stage of the "wells syndrome" as I've now called it, the next stage is to try and delude yourself that there is no other alternative.
See the mian problem with this place is that its not bad, and that is he trick, yes times can be bad but when the weather changes, all the in-ambitions and all the sadness of a routine life fade away behind the beaming sun, great weather and visual beauty, where as in a city when people get this feeling mostly they will either stay or just move away, but from wells there is something else, some tie to each person.
To try and describe it would be difficult but the closest thing I could make comparison to would be like that the town has threads attached to each person, you can try and leave but the treads always pull you back, you feel like your at home.
And when you have that safety its hard to break the ties unless you have a strong will.
The crime rate is very low, murder is unheard of here, and car crashes and fatal accidents are rare, the place is forgiving, and there is work around (granted not great career prospects) but you can live a slow and relaxed lifestyle here.
Anyway, this place has been for a long time a place in which I found myself in admiration of, its scenery is beautiful and lifestyle is relaxed, until recently...
I ventured out to the London expo, it was looking like I could not attend but through various lucky coincidences I managed to attend, now for those unsure EXPO is a Japanese animation and book convention, I don't read any Manga really any-more and only watch one Anime (One piece) but I go to see old friends, and catch up.
30,000 people attended this expo, needless to say it was packed full and I'd never seen so many people, I hung out with friends and spent a lot of quality time with my girlfriend who was amazing for me.
We stayed at a friends new flat in London, I was standing on his balcony which overlooks the 02 Arena, its a breathtaking view of tranquillity right next to canary wharf.
I stood and thought about what life I would like to lead, and stood thinking about if it was time to think about moving away from Wells and start living a life I want.
I got offered an opportunity, I could go and get a decent job in I.T. and live in an almost exact flat with the same view.
It was a big thing to think about, I was unsure if I could meet the criteria of the work and moving away right his second just felt strange.
It played with my brain for a bit, and then, after an amazing weekend, I returned home.
Then, another weird thing happened and I was talking to a very old friend, who has helped me set up "Project Asphalt Wave", If this project is successful I could have a vast amount of wealth in a very short period of time, and what's stranger is that I know that I can make this work.
So I've started working on it, and if all goes to plan, I can start travelling soon, and make a killing while I'm still travelling and probably afford a property too.
This is all speculation of course, and I will only know by giving it a try, so I'm going to, for the sake of wanting a better life, give this everything I've got, and if that fails I have the London job as a fall back plan, I just hope I can get this to work...
I thought I'd write a genuine post for once, honest, and clear.
Hope this post is worthy of the wait its been since my last post.
Peace you beautiful people!!
No comments:
Post a Comment